Old Band Obsessions: Still Slappage™ Power Rankings

And a musical history of Ryan Hodes

If you’ve known me for more than 5 minutes, you know how passionate I am about music. Saying that sounds funny since I don’t play any instruments. Believe me, I’ve tried; piano, trombone, and guitar have all been failed musical endeavors. But every other aspect of music I can’t get enough of. I listen to it while I work (I used to get in arguments with my dad about its “distracting” capabilities; I eventually won). I listen to records when I need some “me-time”. I play it at parties, obviously. I look into lyrics when I have time to sit with a meaningful album. I see it live at shows and festivals and share its power with others.

the iPod in question

Music has filled my life since I was a wee lad. I have fond memories of my dad’s gold iPod nano and its playlist, containing chilled out 90's alt-rock—think Counting Crows, Coldplay, Blues Traveler, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and the Cranberries. When us kids were too hyper we would funnel our energy into air-band renditions of “The Pretender” by Foo Fighters. My mom would dance to “Bubble Toes” by Jack Johnson. We used to be embarrassed by her dance moves but we’ve grown to love them.

Of course, the family setting is only a sliver of my musical experience, but it certainly shaped my personal music taste through my whole life, and especially in my early teen years. To write out every musical phase I went through would take ages, but I’ll highlight the big ones later in this post.

As I got to work on my playlist for this trip, I knew I was going to need a lot of music. Like A LOT. I was about to be on the road for countless hours, so quantity and variety were to be prioritized over cultivating a particular mood. One of the first playlists I found when curating my own was titled “90s/00s Road Trip” on Spotify. At this point, I was just adding whatever jams I had been listening to without any real theme. As I listened to this playlist I found myself cheesing ear to ear listening to these songs I used to love so much but hadn’t heard in years.

Some concert in 2013: just some babies

This is when it hit me. My playlist would be one of nostalgia. I would go through all my various musical phases, and add all my old favorites. Quickly I developed a working title—“A road trip down memory lane”—and got to work. I had a great time jumping in my musical time machine and finding all my favorite artists I could possibly remember; Spotify’s ‘similar artists’ feature was a life-saver.

The playlist ended up being over 1,500 songs and 100 hours long. And I didn’t even finish; there are probably many more artists I used to love that I missed. But I’m pretty sure I captured the main highlights.

Scamp '17

I’ve been on the road almost 2 months now, and I have been pleasantly surprised by my playlist. It sometimes will give me whiplash going from N.W.A. to The 1975, and there are certainly times I cringe that I actually used to like this music. But for the most part I’ve found that these artists still hold up, and a number of them STILL SLAP.

This post will explore all the bands and artists that I, at one point or another, have been “obsessed” with. I'll order them from worst to first, and there are a few rules and criteria, which I’ve outlined below.

• For an artist to be included, I must have been “obsessed” with them. This is extremely subjective, but for me, this means they were virtually all I listened to, for at least a few days. 
• I have included some less extreme obsessions lower in the scale (0-4 SS) purely for comedic purposes and to lean into fully exposing myself.
• I will only adhere to music within the timeline that I listened to the artist. 
• For example, I won’t deduct points for Coldplay selling their souls to put out their modern overly produced garbage. I am defining Coldplay’s timeline as Parachutes to Viva la Vida. I will include a similar timeline for each artist on this list.
• I am not including artists I still listen to regularly or seek out.
• So, although I went through phases of obsession, there will be no Kendrick, Frank Ocean, LCD Soundsystem, Arcade Fire, Kanye, Head and the Heart, Daft Punk, etc.
• There will be NO judgment. 
• I fully recognize that some of this music might not be objectively “good”. Nostalgia is surely a leading factor in still enjoying some of this. This is universal for everyone, and I will vehemently defend these artists, because I’m sure your old music is equally embarrassing.

Now that we have our rules defined, let’s get into it! The “Still Slappage™” meter is on a scale of 1-10, and I will start with the lowest.

15. Akon (TIMELINE) - 0/10 SS (Trouble through Freedom)

Yeah, I had a very brief Akon phase way back when. It wasn’t huge, but I definitely spent at least $10 of an iTunes gift card on his music. I was disappointed, but not surprised, to find that his music does NOT hold up, and in fact is pretty embarassing to admit that I used to like. But if I’m going to do this right, he must be included. I thought I would at least enjoy “Smack That”; I remember thinking Eminem’s verse was so good. But it’s pretty bland. Anyways, no need to dwell, on to the next one.

Still slap song: N/A

14. Black Eyed Peas - 0/10 SS (Elephunk through The E.N.D.)

You’ll notice a trend here. There was some wack hip-hop and pop that I listened to before I knew what good music was or how to find it. I was just looking at the iTunes charts, okay?! Leave me alone.

Still slap song: Pump It

13. Imagine Dragons - 4/10 SS (Night Visions)

Okay, first of all, shut up. Imagine Dragons WAS good. For one album. And then… well, you know the rest. It’s not even that they sold out; they didn’t do that until they had already stopped making good music. But I will maintain that Night Visions is a pretty decent album. Maybe not as good as I thought it was in high school. Imagine Dragons also holds a special place in my heart for turning me on to the modern alt-rock scene, which peaked in 2013, along with this group.

Still slap song: Selene

12. Eminem - 4/10 SS (The Slim Shady LP through Recovery)

Bonnaroo '19: featured #11 & #9

SUBURBAN WHITE BOY GOES THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL EMINEM PHASE, MORE AT 9. Yeah yeah, cliché as it may be, Eminem was one of my biggest phases. Whatever your thoughts on his actual music, there is no denying he was an innovator and icon of late 90s/early 00s hip hop. Some of his stuff is definitely a bit cringe these days, and honestly not really for me anymore. And boy has he fallen off, too. But I can still appreciate some of his more iconic songs, like “
Without Me”, “Still Don’t Give a Fuck”, “The Real Slim Shady”, “My Name Is”, and “Stan”.

Still Slap Song: Without Me

11. 50 Cent - 5/10 SS (Get Rich or Die Trying through Curtis)

Yeah, 50’s debut album is a hip-hop classic. To be frank, I don’t think it’s quite as good as many others do, but songs like “Patiently Waiting” (Eminem bodies his verse), “P.I.M.P”, and “If I Can’t” are certified bangers.

Still slap song: P.I.M.P.

10. Bronze Radio Return - 5/10 SS (Old Time Speaker through Light Me Up)

My dad often made a game of trying to guess the names of bands as they came up on my playlist. He failed the test almost every time, but the one he always got right was Bronze Radio Return – or BRR as we called them. The distinctive twang in the lead singer’s voice gave it away.

Super high quality pic of BRR at Lolla '13

I was a big BRR fanboy. So much so that I got there over an hour before their show at Lollapalooza. I was interested in the artist before them (Betty Who), but she was really just an opener for my main act. I ended up being front and center for their show, amidst a crowd of folks who were enjoying the music, but most I suspect had no idea who they were. Their song “Shake Shake Shake!” has a line that goes, “…until someone starts to move / someone starts to move”. At this point I was vibing HARD and the bassist noticed me “moving” before anyone else. He pointed to me and did that nod that says, “ayyy, this guy!” It was undoubtedly a highlight of my young life.

Anyways, I certainly have moved on from my BRR phase, and upon listening to their tunes on this road trip, I found their songs a bit surface level. They kind of sound like if modern pop-country music weren’t just about trucks, girls and America. But they groove pretty nicely and continue to serve as pleasant background music. And they’ll always give me that nostalgic feeling when I hear the singer’s voice.

Still Slap Song: Blurry-Eyed Worries

9. The Lonely Island - 6/10 SS (Incredibad & Turtlneck & Chain)

Ah, The Lonely Island. A staple of early 2010s SNL. These videos are as iconic as they are hilarious. The sheer quantity of funny songs that low-key go hard is truly impressive. My favorites have been “Jack Sparrow”, “I Just Had Sex”, “Motherlover” and “Lazy Sunday”. Our cross country team even did a Turtleneck & Chain dress-up day before a meet-day. Although I’ll admit that the visual element are an integral part of the fun, so I was definitely missing that part.

Still Slap Song: Jack Sparrow

8. Arctic Monkeys - 8/10 SS

Arctic Monkeys still go hard. I found myself bumping and grooving to a number of my old favorites that I added to the playlist: “505”, “When The Sun Goes Down”, and “A Certain Romance” to name a few. They get downgraded, however, for most of their newer album AM; that one has not stood the test of time quite as well.

7. Passion Pit - 8/10 SS (Manners-Kindred)

Passion Pit were not only visionary, but WILL be timeless when you look back at their body of work. They played a huge role in electronic elements being woven into popular music. Their albums Gossamer and Manners hold up unbelievably well, sounding fresh and innovative even 10 years later. They lose points for their 2015 effort Kindred, which I liked at first but didn’t offer much depth or repeatability, and as a result I haven’t listened to anything from the album in years.

6. The Beatles - 9/10 SS (entire catalog)

Paul McCartney at Lolla '15

The Beatles were my first true musical love. Their album 1 was the first CD I ever owned; one of my mom’s coworkers took me to buy a CD during ‘take your child to work day’ or whatever they’re calling it these days. I did one of my school projects on them in 1st grade; my mom had to gloss over some of the less kid-friendly details of their history when we were researching.

As it turns out, I was only scratching the surface of their actual music when I first discovered them. I wouldn't go back and deep-dive into albums like Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Abbey Road, and Magical Mystery Tour—my current favorites—until much later in life.

While there's no denying the Beatles were cultural icons, and certainly hold up 50 years later, they're not my go-to when I want to listen to older music. That honor goes to other certified legends of rock & soul—true wall-breakers like David Bowie, Fleetwood Mac, Stevie Wonder, Carole King

5. Pretty Lights - 9/10 SS (whole catalog)

Pretty Lights will always hold a special place in my heart. They introduced me to the beautiful, wooky world of electro/funk/jam festivals. One of the best shows I’ve ever seen was Summer Camp 2017, when they brought unbelievable vibes to the Sunshine stage, just as the sun was going down and producing a fantastically orange sunset. They hold up pretty well; nothing I listen to regularly anymore but I certainly don’t skip over them when they come up on shuffle. Sure wish they’d release new music; last we’ve heard from them was 2017 with “Rainbows & Waterfalls”, and their last full length album was 2013.

Still Slap Song: Total Fascination

Pretty Lights: Northerly Island '17

4. Coldplay - 9/10 SS (Parachutes through Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends)

Coldplay: Soldier Field '16

COLDPLAY WAS GOOD. There I said it, and fuck you if you disagree.

Just so we're clear, I'm not saying they are still good. In fact, I'll be the first to criticize the abhorrent direction the band went after Viva La Vida. I won't even criticize them for “selling out”; by all means get that bag. But when a band sacrifices their creative integrity to please the suits, that’s when I have a problem.

All that said, for over a decade Coldplay was just a really solid alt-rock band. A Rush of Blood to the Head and Viva la Vida, I think are pretty amazing records. Ballads like “The Scientist”, “Fix You”, and “Yellow” get me in my sad-boi feels, and are really the heart of Coldplay. That’s really what they sacrificed to bring us the stale pop-rock of the late 2010s, and that’s where they lost themselves.

Still Slap Song: Fix You

3. New Politics - 10/10 SS (New Politics & A Bad Girl in Harlem)

Piqniq '13, featuring all of the top 3

New Politics was the ultimate trip down nostalgia avenue as I put together my road trip playlist. These guys were the first real show of my life. I saw them at Piqniq 2013, a one-day festival put on by a local Chicago Alternative radio station 101.1 WKQX, on my 16th birthday no less! That first year had an incredible lineup looking back at it. Yeah Yeah Yeahs, AWOLNATION, Twenty One Pilots, Capital Cities, and New Politics.

I rekindled my love affair that was sparked that day, listening to classics like “Give Me Hope” (2010 Version), “Yeah Yeah Yeah!”, and “Harlem”.

Still Slap Song: Give Me Hope

2. AWOLNATION - 10/10 SS (Megalithic Symphony & Run)

AWOLNATION was definitely a top-tier phase of mine. I listened to this group CONSTANTLY. I was pleased to discover that yeah, they still fuckin slap. AWOLNATION’s debut album Megalithic Symphony is just banger after banger. I have been blasting some of these songs, belting them with the windows. “Wake Up”, “People”, and “Guilty Filthy Soul”, and of course “Jump on My Shoulders" have been my favorites. Even their sophomore record Run, while nowhere near as good as Megalithic Symphony, still has some awesome songs.

Still Slap Song: Wake Up

1. Twenty One Pilots - 10/10 SS (Pre-Blurryface)

Yeah yeah, everyone knew where this was going. If there are any doubts about how big of a Twenty One Pilots fanboy I was, just have a look at my most played songs on last.fm (this is an all-time list, although I only signed up in 2014, after I discovered the band. So Vessel and earlier songs would be even higher). I even got in trouble on my college radio show that I did with my friend Andrew, ‘Ry & Anj in the morning’, for playing them too much. I’ve seen them live more than any other band (I think 9 times), and while those 2013-2014 shows will always be elite, they put on a great show every time. I knew the band intimately—one of my biggest regrets was missing an email invite to a Meet & Greet at Lollapalooza 2013, which I received because I was a member of their “street team”.

Twenty One Pilots at House of Blues '14

This group meant so much to me. Yeah, they’re a little angsty. But I was in high school and they made damn good music. The whole album Vessel still holds up remarkably. That may be nostalgia speaking, but I was surprised how much I still enjoyed them. And to address the elephant in the room, yes, they inevitably fell off. Blurryface—despite what my denial told me at the time—and their latest effort, Scaled & Icy, are painfully bad projects. Their 2018 album Trench actually grew on me a bit after my first listen, but it still pales in comparison to their early work.

Twenty One Pilots was the soundtrack to my life for a good 2 years. In a way, there is no separating nostalgia from my unclouded opinion of their music, but that’s kind of the point of this list. A bunch of artists that meant something to me, in one way or another, and how much that can allow me to dismiss any and all criticism of the artist. I don’t really care that my judgment is clouded. I've loved Twenty One Pilots from the moment I heard “Semi-Automatic” to a couple months later when I finally decided to deep-dive and discovered a world of angsty self-aware alt-rock/hip hop hybrid, emotional and unbelievably energetic music that spoke to me and gave way to the entire universe of my music taste that you know today.

Still Slap Songs: Migraine, Holding On To You, Fake You Out, Ode to Sleep, Trees, Guns for Hands (basically all of Vessel)

Honorable Mentions: Dr. Dre, BØRNS, Capital Cities, CHVRCHES, Green Day, Lil Wayne, Mumford & Sons, Portugal. The Man, Queen, The Shins, Snow Patrol